


The Community College Augmentation

by StormyWords



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Community College, F/M, Romance, spoilers up to season 3ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-13
Updated: 2010-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-12 15:50:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyWords/pseuds/StormyWords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Penny decides to go back to school, not everyone seems to be accepting of it. <br/>-L/P beginning. Develops into S/P over time-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Right Brain Logic

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory and the actors and characters associated with it are not mine and I'm making no money, honey.

Outside it was hot, dry, and heavy. The air was hard to breath and sweat immediately broke out on Penny's skin as she exited her car one Wednesday evening. It reminded her fondly of sex in the barn and the hay back home. Not that that had been a common occurrence, of course. She made her way to the cool air of the apartment building quickly. She stopped for her mail and looked through it passively. _Bill, bill, junk, another frikkin bill, more junk. . ._ she pulled an envelope out of the stack and ripped it open. It was an acceptance letter to Pasadena City College. She'd forgotten that she even applied weeks ago in a bout of depressive PMS during which she had been turned down for a role in a soap opera. Even though it was just for a community college, it was an _acceptance_ nonetheless. She grinned and bounded up the stairs.

Penny was slightly breathless when she reached the door of her boyfriend and his roommate's apartment. She opened the door and walked in with the smile still plastered to her face.

"You're late," Sheldon announced to her. He was already sitting in his spot and eating his Monday Thai food.

"With good reason," she said, the excitement in her voice was hardly restrained. Her tone caught everyone's attention.

"What's that?" Leonard asked as he got up for Penny to sit down on the couch between him and Sheldon. She sat for a second but got back up, holding out her acceptance letter for everyone to see.

"An acceptance letter to Pasadena City College!" She squealed in a tone that made all four boys in the room flinch.

"Congratulations!" Leonard said, standing up to hug her. Howard tried to hug her too, but she shook his hand instead. And Raj gave her a double thumbs-up and a huge grin.

"Were you unaware that everyone is accepted to community college?" Sheldon asked, putting his food down on the coffee table.

"No, I know that, Sheldon. But with not getting any acting jobs, I get enough rejection letters and phone calls. This, even though its small, is still an acceptance," she explained, sitting down. She began to take large bites of her food. The excitement sparked her appetite.

"What made you decide to apply?" Leonard asked.

"Well, I figured that if I can't get any acting jobs now, imagine how it will be when I get wrinkles," she said around her food.

"Good logic," Sheldon nodded.

"I thought so," Penny said.

After they were done eating, Raj, Howard, and Sheldon left after all four boys whispered in the kitchen.

"Where are they going? Its not comic book night," Penny asked while snuggling close to Leonard who sat next to her on the couch.

"Oh, I don't know," Leonard said in a voice a few octaves above normal. He was a horrible liar.

"Mmhm," Penny mumbled, unconvinced.

They were making out in Sheldon's spot when the guys got back. They jumped up quickly as the door opened. Sheldon was first to come in, holding a cake, and was followed by Howard and Raj carrying bags from the local office supply store. All three of them were beaming (well, Sheldon looked happy, but wasn't smiling like Howard and Raj) as they approached Penny.

"What's this?" she asked with a confused and flattered smile.

"Cake and school supplies," Sheldon replied. He showed her the cake: it was a chocolate cake with white frosting and little frosting flowers and the words "CONGRATulations, PENNY!" in pink letters.

"Why's only part of it lower case?" Leonard asked.

"Because the cake decorator started to write 'congrats' in caps but Sheldon found that inappropriate and made her finish the word. But there wasn't enough room for the whole word to be in caps," Howard said with a little shrug that said "sorry."

"This is so sweet of you guys," Penny said, in a slightly choked voice. She was fighting back tears of appreciation and love for this bunch of misfit geeks.

"And your school supplies!" Sheldon said, as he put the cake down. He helped Raj and Howard pull out notebooks, folders, pencils, pens, erasers, lined paper, binders, a pencil case, and a book bag out of the plastic shopping bags. Each item was mostly pink and purple of various shades and her book bag and pencil case were matching Hello Kitty.

Her lower lip trembled as tears formed in her eyes. If she wasn't mistaken, each geek took a step back.

"It's from all of us," Howard said, bashfully.

Leonard kissed her temple and said "Yes, all of us."

"Thank you so much, you guys!" Penny said and gave each of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Howard seemed to sigh and melt as she did so, Raj kissed her cheek in return, Leonard went for her lips, and Sheldon looked repulsed. But she didn't mind because these four guys were the only people on the planet that she felt really cared for her.

"So," Sheldon said after rubbing his cheek fiercely with the sleeve of his shirt. "What movie are we watching first?"

"Raj and I were thinking about going out to a bar, anyone want to join?" Howard asked.

"No," Sheldon replied. "It's Monday. Monday is movie night."

"For you," Howard said.

"I think I'm going to opt out as well," Penny said. "I want to sign up for classes and play with my new school supplies."

"School supplies are not toys, Penny," Sheldon said.

"Then I guess you're not going to have a marathon race with scissors with me. Darn," Penny said sarcastically.

"I think I might want to go," Leonard said, looking at Penny questioningly.

"You can go," she challenged and crossed her arms and looked away from him.

She saw Sheldon take in her change of stance and facial expression. He narrowed his eyes at Leonard, waiting for his response like Penny.

"Are you sure?" Leonard asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Go."

They all ate a slice of cake before Howard, Leonard, and Raj headed out. Penny and Sheldon remained on the couch in silence. Sheldon stood up after a few moments of silence and began to clean up. She watched him wordlessly with a small frown.

"You didn't want him to go, did you," Sheldon said rather than asked.

"Nope," she said popping the "p."

"I don't understand," Sheldon said, loading the dishwasher.

"Boyfriends aren't really supposed to go out to the bar without their girlfriends. Movies? Sure. Amusement park? Sure. Bar? No. It's just not nice," she said vehemently.

"I inferred that on my own, seeing as a bar is a common place where most young people find suitable sexual partners while inebriated. But what I don't understand is why you didn't tell him that you didn't want him to go," Sheldon said.

"I didn't want to start a fight after the nice things you guys did for me," Penny replied, looking at her stack of new school supplies and the partially eaten cake.

"So, you bottled it up for later when you'll start a fight after you've been obsessing over it for hours and it has suddenly become bigger than it was?" Sheldon asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Penny just glared at him.

"You said you wanted to schedule classes?" Sheldon changed the subject.

"Yeah, you wanna help?" Penny asked, sitting up.

He nodded and got his laptop and sat in his seat. She scooted closer so she could see the screen. He went to the school's website and pulled up the course catalog. Penny grabbed one of her new notebooks and a pencil to write down the courses she wanted to take.

"Any ideas of what you want to study?" he asked.

"I was thinking an Associate of Arts to start. That can lead to most careers not in the science and medical fields, right?"

"Correct. It's a good start. I admire your motivation to rise above the Cheesecake Factory career wise," he said.

"Thanks, Sheldon," she smiled.

"Since you're a person who uses the right brain more- much more, than the left, I suggest taking some English courses first," he suggested.

"What's that mean?" she asked.

"That means you think with your creative side of your brain more than your logic side. Your imagination is more dominate over your rational thinking. Order and routine isn't important to you and you understand the emotional meaning of things rather than simply comprehending. Which is why you are not a homo novus," he explained.

"Whatever. Wait, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Thinking with your right brain? It's good for some people. But not good if you were to go into physics," he said.

"I'm not," she said with a slight shudder.

"Good," he said and found the requirements for an Associates Degree.

They spent a few hours going through the catalog and choosing her classes. She was having fun, to be honest. And she was looking forward to starting school, even though Sheldon insisted that she take a math course.


	2. The First Day Experience

"Maybe I'll just skip today and go tomorrow. You know, skip out on all the first day jitters," Penny said over breakfast. It was, indeed, her first day of classes at Pasadena City College. After applying in a fit of depressive PMS and spending two months after she was accepted debating whether she really wanted to go back to school or not, she settled on going. Until the first day.

"Then tomorrow would be your first day," Leonard reasoned. "There will always be a first day."

This was true. But Penny just plain didn't like it. "Not if I stay at the Cheesecake Factory for the rest of my life," she whined in a small voice as she pushed her food around on her plate.

"I thought that was your plan," Sheldon said, looking mildly confused.

"That _better_ have been sarcasm, Sheldon," Penny said in a deep threatening voice.

He calculated the look on her face and the danger it entailed before he raised his eyebrows and said "I take it you are nervous for your first day of community college, but that's no reason to snap at me."

Penny's eyes flashed in anger and she threw a piece of buttered toast at him. He dodged it.

"Penny, clean that up," Sheldon said, his voice shaking a little bit and his eye twitching. Sheldon didn't like mess; it was common knowledge.

"No," she said and folded her arms across her chest.

"Leonard, make your beleaguering girlfriend clean up her mess," Sheldon said, trying to keep his voice calm.

Leonard, who had been watching in amusement, looked from his best friend to his girlfriend. He sighed. "Penny, just clean it up. You don't want your name on the board before you even get to school."

"They do that in college?" Penny asked, her eyes wide in first-day-of-school terror.

Sheldon scoffed.

"No, Penny they don't," Leonard said in a kind, almost pitying tone.

Penny quickly cleaned up her mess before going to get ready for school. She went through multiple outfits and was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans and a pink, low cut top when Leonard and Sheldon found her in her apartment.

"Penny, you have school in a half hour," Leonard said in a confused tone. "You're going to be late. What are you doing?"

"I- I don't know what to wear!" Penny fretted.

Both men rolled their eyes.

"What do you think about this?" She said, twirling around for them, tripping a little on the pile of discarded outfits on the floor around her.

"You look great," Leonard said passively and grabbed her book bag and her purse off her bed.

"If you're planning on seducing your professors," Sheldon said condescendingly.

"Do I look slutty?" Penny asked in a high pitched voice of worry.

"N-no," Leonard struggled to say without staring at her chest.

"Thanks," she spat sarcastically as she ripped the shirt over her head and grabbing a plain black t-shirt. Leonard was unfazed by her taking off her shirt but Sheldon looked away, scandalized, mumbling something about there not being a fair warning of indecency.

She was ready to go after that and they headed out to their parking spaces. They were about to go their separate ways when Penny stopped in her tracks.

"Guys, I just can't do this. School is your thing, not mine. I just- I just stand here and look pretty. I have no talent for learning or even a passion for education. Why am I doing this?" She panicked in the parking lot.

"Because you know it'll make you . . . a more well-rounded person. And who doesn't love a hot and smart woman?" Leonard said, stroking her shoulder.

Sheldon stood impatiently outside the passenger door of Leonard's car a few feet way. He made a sound of annoyance.

"You can and will succeed in school because you are a hard worker and once you set your sights on something it's yours," Leonard assured her. "I believe that you will do perfectly well if you work for it."

Penny smiled weakly, still not reassured, but she appreciated his attempt. She looked to Sheldon to see if he had anything to say. Half hoping he told her that she was hopeless and should just go back to her apartment and hide in her bed, and half hoping he had something nice or encouraging to say. That thought alone made her want to laugh.

He looked even more annoyed when he realized she was waiting for him to say something. "Unlike Leonard, I have faith you will do well and succeed in community college. Its not a large endeavor, even you can complete it. Even though I could have completed community college in my sleep as a five year old," Sheldon said and tugged at the car door handle, giving Leonard the hint to unlock the door.

"Um, thanks, Sheldon. I think," Penny said and adjusted the straps of her book bag.

"Good luck," Leonard said and kissed her forehead before unlocking the doors and heading towards his car.

She smiled at them and headed to her own car, giving herself a pep talk in the process. _Come on, Penelope. You can do this. Even Sheldon said you could do it. And Leonard_ kind of _said you were capable. Let's show them how right they are!_

That evening, Penny waited just inside her apartment, waiting to hear Leonard and Sheldon coming home after work. When she heard their voices in the hall she flung open the door.

"Guess what?" She asked excitedly.

"I don't know, what?" Leonard said, at a loss.

"My first day of college went good!" She exclaimed.

"Well," Sheldon said.

"Whatever," Penny said, brushing off her annoyance. "I'll learn how to speak English better in my college English class. And then I'll talk as _well_ as you guys." She beamed at them.

"That's great, Penny. I'm happy for you," Leonard said and hugged her.

"Are you coming over for dinner?" Sheldon asked.

"Yeah, sure," Penny said and followed them into their apartment as Raj and Howard came up the stairs.

"Penny! How was your first day?" Howard asked when he and Raj entered the apartment.

"Great! I'll have to tell you all about it!" Penny said to all four guys.

"Any hot teachers?" Howard asked suggestively.

"No. And most of my classmates are just out of high school, so don't ask about them," Penny said.

Raj whispered to Howard and Howard spoke for him. "What classes did you have today?"

"Well, I have algebra Monday through Thursday. Sheldon insisted it was better for my memory. So I had that today, Intro to Psychology, and English Composition. Tomorrow I have algebra, Biology, and a Computer class," Penny listed.

"Did you make any new friends?" Leonard asked.

"Well, there's this one girl in my Psych class who seemed pretty cool. She was wearing the cutest sundress and we got to talking about shopping before class began. And there was this one boy in my English class who asked to borrow some paper and then we got to talking about how much writing we thought we'd be doing in class. So I haven't made any friends yet, but now I know who I can talk to in those classes," Penny explained, as they all ate their Monday Thai food.

"Penny, might I ask you to let me see your syllabus after dinner?" Sheldon asked.

"You know what? I'm going to say yes because I know what that word means now. If this had been yesterday or last week I would have smacked you for being crude," Penny laughed.

Sheldon looked confused. But she was smiling so he took it as a good thing.

Throughout the rest of dinner, all Penny could talk about was school. Most of the guys were tired of hearing about it but just let her ramble on. The only one actually interested in what she was saying and responding at all was Sheldon. Surprising them all with his genuine interest.

When Penny stopped for a breath, Sheldon sighed and said: "I'm slightly envious of you, Penny. I greatly miss college's solitude and its multitude of academia. Though, I'm not envious of your unfortunate choice of school, mind you."

Once again, Penny was unsure if he was being nice, or being an ass.

After they were finished eating the guys were cleaning up and Penny had all this pent up energy from a successful first day that she felt she needed to let some of it out. She tried to get Leonard to come with her to her apartment, but he wasn't understanding her subtle hints. She settled on putting on some dance music and dancing around her apartment.

She was dancing and singing to her blasting stereo when Sheldon came in. She didn't hear or see him because the music was loud and her back was to him. He went to her stereo and turned down the volume. She gasped and spun around, her hand to her chest.

"Sheldon! What are you doing?" She asked breathlessly.

"I came to see if you were joining us for movie night and if you had that syllabus," he said wrinkling his nose at the disaster that was her apartment.

"I don't know, I was having fun," she said and went to her fridge and grabbed a bottled water, opened it, and drank half of it.

"This form of 'having fun' must be how you keep in shape because you never exercise," Sheldon observed.

She glared at him.

"Are you coming to movie night or no?" Sheldon asked impatiently.

She looked down at herself. She was sweating profusely and her skin was blotchy from the heat of exercise. She wasn't exactly dressed for an evening with her boyfriend and friends.

"I'm going to say no on this one," she replied. "I want to get a good night's sleep for tomorrow."

"Alright. Good night, Penny," Sheldon said before leaving her apartment and shutting the door.

Penny turned the music up and danced around her apartment for one more song before going to bed.


	3. The Late Night Homework Quandary

Penny threw down her pencil and made a sound of frustration one Sunday night. "I freaking _hate_ algebra!" she exclaimed to her otherwise empty apartment.

She sat back against her couch, leaving her homework unfinished on the coffee table. She stared off into space, trying to calm herself down. Math was never one of Penny's strengths. She could ace an English test, but math? Forget it. While staring up at her ceiling, she thought about emailing her professor to ask for help. But, it was two in the morning and the test was at nine. Penny regretted going out yesterday night and shopping today, because it left no time for her to adequately finish her homework and sleep.

Just when she was contemplating going to bed and just winging it on the test, she remembered who lived across the hall. Her genius boyfriend. Sure, he was a science guy, but algebra wasn't _that_ far off, right?

Penny picked up her textbook, notes in a binder, a notebook with her work in it, pencils, an erasure, and her calculator and headed across the hall. She used her spare key to get in, taking advantage of her waitress balance as she held her school stuff in one hand. Once in the apartment she flipped on a light and set her stuff down on the table and tip-toed to Leonard's room.

She hadn't been sleeping at Leonard's so much anymore because she always had some kind of homework. School was becoming really important to her. She had even landed a commercial acting job by impressing the director with her dedication to school. The fact that she was _hoping_ to make a career out of acting, but not _expecting_ it impressed him and she got the job on the spot. Everything was changing for the better in Penny's life, the only thing that stayed constant was Leonard. She wasn't sure if that was comforting or if it was holding her back mentally. But she didn't like to think about that.

Penny opened Leonard's bedroom door and gently shook him awake. "Leonard," she whispered. "Leonard, wake up."

"What's wrong, Penny?" he mumbled and peeked at her under half closed lids.

"I need some help with my homework," she responded.

"Are you being serious?" he asked and sat up.

"Well, yeah. I have a test tomorrow and I really don't want to fail it," she replied, noting his grumpiness.

"Penny, I have work in the morning. I can't just stay up all night with you. You'll do fine tomorrow. Now, get some rest," he said and moved over so she could sleep next to him.

She didn't.

Penny stormed out of Leonard's room angrily, slamming his door a little too hard. She cringed, knowing it woke up Sheldon. So, to avoid his unneeded comments and insults, she tried to quickly grab her things and run back to her apartment. But she wasn't quick enough.

"Penny, what are you doing?" Sheldon asked, his voice gruff with sleep.

She froze near the door and turned slowly, dropping a few pencils. Her eyes were wide like a deer caught in the headlights of a hunter's pick-up truck.

When she didn't say anything Sheldon repeated himself.

"I was doing my homework because I put it off and I have a test tomorrow. Then I got stuck on a problem and went to ask Leonard for help but he said no so now I'm leaving and I'm sorry for slamming the door," Penny said in a rush.

"Okay," Sheldon said and turned and went back to his room.

Penny was in shock by his lack of insulting comments. She opened the door to leave, then shut it again, still in the apartment. Leonard wasn't the _only_ genius on this floor. Penny thought about it for a second. Sheldon was a horrible physics teacher. She figured that was because it is his passion and he didn't know how to give just a basic knowledge. But maybe he'd be a great math teacher. . . .

Penny closed her eyes and sighed, readying herself for the torture that was sure to come. She would deal with it because she couldn't fail her first algebra test. She was determined to pass it and if doing well meant asking Sheldon for help, so be it.

She went to his room and knocked on the closed door.

 _Knock knock knock_

"Sheldon," she whispered.

 _Knock knock knock_

"Shel-" the door opened "-oh."

"Shello, to you, too," he said, looking less than pleased to be disturbed by Penny twice that night.

"Will you help me? You're a genius, too," Penny said and then thought of something and went with it. "Actually, you're more of a genius than Leonard. I don't know why I didn't come to you to begin with."

"Because when you correctly complete an equation I will not reward you with sexual acts," Sheldon said flatly.

Penny wasn't sure if that was supposed to be insulting or not because it _was_ true.

"Will you help me or not, Sheldon? I really want to pass this test," Penny said, a slight whine in her voice.

He rolled his eyes and stepped aside to let her in.

She sat at the foot of his bed and set out her notes and work in front of her.

"Penny, you're on my bed," he said in what would be a tone of warning if he wasn't so tired.

"Deal with it," she said passively.

"Penny-"

"Sheldon, please!"

" _Fine_!"

He sat cross-legged in front of his pillow and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Okay, here's what I have so far," Penny said and held out her partially completed homework.

He quickly scanned it. "These are all correct so far, but look at number thirteen again. You have the signs switched; it should be a negative."

Penny fixed the equation and then showed him where she had gotten stuck.

"I see what you're doing incorrectly, though I couldn't fathom _why_ you're doing it that way," he said and stifled a yawn which Penny caught.

"Don't mock me, just help me," Penny complained.

"I wasn't mocking, I was stating my confusion," he said.

"Well, your confusion is insulting," Penny said.

He ignored her comment. "The first thing you need to do after what you have here is the quadratic formula. X equals negative B plus or minus the square root of B squared minus four multiplied by A and C, all divided by two times A. Then you'll get two answers because you'll have two equations."

"I actually followed until you said two equations," Penny said looking at what he had written down on her notes.

He pointed to the part that dealt with plus or minus and said: "You'll do an equation for both and they'll have different answers. Then you plug those numbers back into the original problem to see if they both work out correctly. You really didn't get this the first time? Were you paying attention in class? Better yet, were you paying attention in junior high?"

"Sheldon! Stop! No, I didn't get it the first time," she said exasperatedly. "Here, lie on your stomach and I'll go next to you so you can see what I'm doing without craning your neck like that."

"Valid observation, Penny," he said and obliged.

Penny worked on the next problem with a few corrections and interjections from Sheldon, and then the next with no comments from him at all. When she looked up from the sixth equation, she saw that Sheldon was asleep. She started to move to get up and go back to her apartment but she was exhausted. She glanced at Sheldon's clock which read four am and let her head fall on her notes and was instantly asleep.

The next morning Leonard was on his way to get a shower and passed Sheldon's open door. He glanced in as he passed and stopped in his tracks. Penny and Sheldon were both side by side in Sheldon's bed with their heads on textbooks and paper. Leonard was filled with rage when he loudly knocked on the door, waking them both.

They both looked as if they were going to scold him for waking them, then they realized where they were. Penny looked down at her homework and Sheldon looked at Penny, horrified. He sat up quickly.

"What's going on?" Leonard asked, unable to keep the anger and confusion out of his voice.

"I needed help with my homework," Penny said, sitting up. "What time is it?"

"Seven thirty. So you ask _Sheldon_ to help you?" Leonard was insulted.

"Because you said no!" Penny defended.

"That's besides the point, Penny!" Leonard argued.

Sheldon looked uncomfortably from Leonard to Penny.

"No its not! What was I supposed to do? Forget about studying and fail the test because you don't want to miss a few hours of sleep to help me, your _girlfriend_?" Penny exclaimed, standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"I don't know, but I know you sure as hell don't go and ask my best friend for help and sleep with him!" Leonard yelled.

"I didn't sleep with him!" Penny yelled back.

"Yes, you did," Sheldon corrected.

Penny rolled her eyes. "It's not like I had sex with him or anything."

"Oh, goodness, no," Sheldon shuddered.

"Whatever, Penny," Leonard said and went to take his shower.

Penny sat down on the edge of Sheldon's bed, defeated.

"Don't feel bad, Penny. His comeback for when you disproved his reason for jealousy was 'whatever.' Like a fifteen year old girl," Sheldon said and began to organize Penny's homework and notes on his bed.

Penny's lower lip trembled and tears pooled in her eyes but they didn't spill over. She grabbed her things from Sheldon's hands and quickly went to her apartment. She showered, dressed, and ate breakfast as she did some last minute studying before heading to school.

That evening, during dinner, Penny came bursting into Leonard and Sheldon's apartment excitedly again. Raj was mid sentence, mid word, and stopped as soon as he saw her in the doorway. She was smiling brightly and clutching a Scan-tron slip and a thick packet of paper.

Everyone stared at her silently, waiting for her impending squeal of happiness. They were not disappointed. She gave a high pitched squeal and ran to Sheldon, who was in the kitchen getting a drink. She held out her graded test to show him the 96% written on the top.

"Well done, Penny!" Sheldon said genuinely.

Penny hugged him and thanked him. He patted her back semi-awkwardly.

"We're missing something, aren't we?" Howard asked, in awe at Sheldon's genuine approval of Penny and Penny thanking him.

"Yeah," Leonard said with a frown. He stabbed at his food on his plate viciously. "Penny and Sheldon had a study date and I found them asleep together in his bed this morning."

"Sheldon? Really?" Howard asked Leonard. Leonard nodded.

Raj whispered to Howard and Howard said "Yeah, be careful, he might steal Penny away from you while you stand there helplessly."

"Thanks, guys," Leonard said sarcastically.

"I propose that Penny gets to choose the movie, because she did so well on her test," Sheldon said as they settled in their seats to finish dinner.

"Sure, you earned it," Howard said, and managed to make it sound creepy and perverted.

Penny chose "Pretty Woman;" one of her favorites. The guys were not happy with the choice, but couldn't take back their decision to allow her to choose. Penny sat down next to Sheldon, rather than Leonard, to watch the movie. When she saw Leonard giving her a look that reminded her of a sad puppy, she glared at him. Sheldon didn't seem to notice the exchange, or at least he didn't acknowledge it. By the end of the movie, it appeared as if the guys were convinced their brains were leaking out their ears. She endured their complaining because they endured hers after a movie of their choice.

After Raj and Howard left, Penny was going over her math test with Sheldon and they were working on the problems she got wrong. Leonard was watching them scornfully. When they finished, Sheldon sat at his desk and went on his computer and Penny gathered her things to leave. But Leonard stopped her.

"Penny, I'm sorry," he said. His words sounded more like a surrender than an apology.

She stopped and looked at him. "For what, exactly?" she tested.

"For not trusting you with Sheldon and getting jealous," he said in the same tone.

"Leonard, I got a 96% on my test. If me and Sheldon were having sex, we wouldn't have had enough time to study and I would have definitely failed," Penny said, self-deprecatory. "So, yeah, you were unreasonably jealous and untrusting."

Sheldon rolled his eyes.

"I know, I'm sorry," Leonard said.

Sheldon looked back at Leonard with narrowed eyes. He had caught Leonard's insult to Penny even though she didn't, and found it unfair. But he didn't want to bring it up and prolong the argument, so he turned back to his computer.

"Next time you feel jealous, remember that you're the only one that I want. Okay?" Penny said, wrapping her arms around Leonard's neck and kissing him.

"Okay," he smiled and lead her to his room.

Sheldon turned around to see them going into Leonard's room. He watched them shut the door with the tiniest pain in his heart.


	4. The Best Friend Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 has a theme of stalking.  
> Also, I neither own The Big Bang Theory nor the lyrics involved in this chapter. I claim no ownership of anything involved.

It was about one in the morning when Penny's phone rang. She groggily lifted her head from her pillow and picked up her cell phone off her night stand. The caller ID read "Max." She groaned and slammed her phone back onto the night stand, rattling her alarm clock and lamp. Max was a guy from her English class. Penny and Max had partnered up for a class project and they exchanged numbers for that purpose, and that purpose only. But even two weeks after the project, Max was calling at all hours of the night and leaving her messages, telling her how beautiful she is and how much he could love her. It was all very creepy.

She hadn't said anything to anyone about it yet. Leonard didn't even know. But he'd been working the graveyard shift again for a new experiment, so she had hardly seen him in two weeks. It felt like less time than that, though. She and the other guys were having a great time despite his absence. She and Sheldon had regular study sessions and she had taken over Leonard's spot in Halo night and vintage video game night. There was one moment, after she and Sheldon had dominated Raj and Howard at N64 Mario Cart, that she realized she didn't even miss Leonard, but that notion was squashed immediately.

Right now all she wanted was a big, strong boyfriend to scare away Max. She pictured Leonard puffing out his chest and threatening Max with big words and the rest of the guys standing behind him dressed as superheros and carrying first aid kits. She laughed out loud at this vision. Then her phone rang with an incoming text message. She figured it was from Leonard because they still texted each other and he often sent her messages while he was on his "lunch" break at about this time. She picked up her phone and opened the message: " _Hello, Beautiful. I couldn't help but notice you aren't answering my calls. Is there something wrong?_ " Penny groaned in frustration; it was from Max. She ignored his texts like she usually did and turned off her phone. She'd have to deal with this tomorrow. Now was not the time.

What felt like minutes later, it was time for Penny to get up for school. She showered, dressed, fixed a cup of coffee, grabbed her things and headed over to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. Sheldon was fixing himself a bowl of cereal and Leonard was sitting on the couch watching the morning news.

"Good morning, guys," she said as she set her book bag and purse down next to the couch.

"Good morning, Penny," Sheldon said.

Leonard got up to kiss her in greeting before sitting back down and watching the news again.

Penny took the box of cereal that Sheldon had been reaching to up back up on top of the refrigerator. He gave her a Look but she just smiled brightly and poured some into a bowl with some milk and added some sugar. There were no sweet, happy cereals like Trix or Fruity Pebbles in this apartment, only stuff Penny's grandma used to eat. Penny settled down on the couch between Sheldon and Leonard and watched the morning news with them as she and Sheldon ate their breakfasts. Leonard got up a few minutes later with a quiet "Good night," and went to bed.

Penny watched him go with a thoughtful look on his face. "Is he okay?"

"Leonard? No," Sheldon said, not taking his eyes off the TV. "He's getting nowhere in his experiment and his department's funding is almost depleted."

"Oh, no," Penny said quietly.

"'Oh, no' is right. If he gets fired he wont be able to pay his half of the rent. And he might take up knitting," Sheldon continued.

"Knitting?" Penny asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There have been conversations on this subject," Sheldon said simply.

"Oookay," Penny said, realizing she probably really didn't want to know.

They were silent until Penny finished her cereal and offered to take Sheldon's empty bowl. She cleaned their dishes while thinking about why she wasn't upset Leonard didn't tell her about his troubles at work. She wasn't but she knew she should be and that worried her. She was deep in thought when Sheldon said: "Penny, your back pack is buzzing obnoxiously."

She put the dishes away and then went to get her phone out of her book bag. It was a missed call and a text from Max. " _I can't wait to see you later today, Beautiful_ " it read.

Penny made a sound of frustration and shoved her phone back in her book bag and then sat back down on the couch. Sheldon was staring at her strangely and she slowly looked over at him, giving him a Look of annoyance.

"Penny, I couldn't help but notice that you seem distressed," Sheldon observed.

"No, Sheldon, I'm as happy as a clam," she said with biting sarcasm.

"I've never understood the origin of that idiom, but I understand that it means you are very happy. But your noise of frustration and your current countenance suggest the opposite," he said, turning slightly to her.

"What noise of frustration?' Penny asked calmly, toying with him. She leaned her head back against the couch and looked blankly at the TV.

"Well, you received a text message, I presume, and when you read it you said 'Ugghh!' Which is not a noise one makes while 'happy as a clam,'" Sheldon replied.

"Bazinga," Penny said quietly and she rolled her head against the back of the couch to look at him through her eyelashes.

"Penny," he said scolding her for teasing him.

"Sheldon."

"Penny, what was the text message? Was it from Leonard?" he asked and looked away from her so she couldn't see the hope in his eyes that he was ashamed of.

"No, it was from this guy, Max," Penny said and shook her head.

"And who is Max?" Sheldon asked.

"This guy from school whom I did a project with a couple weeks ago. Now he's, like, stalking me," Penny said, realizing she'd just used the word "whom" naturally.

"Stalking?" Sheldon asked and what looked like concern contorted his features.

She gave him a small smile. "Yeah, but don't worry about it, Sweetie. He's just annoying. He'll get the hint eventually."

"How is he stalking you?" Sheldon asked.

"He calls me at all hours of the night and sends me creepy text messages or ones that sound as if we're dating. I've never seen him outside of school but he acts like we do," Penny explained.

"I happen to know that it is very possible that he sees you outside of school, but you don't see him," Sheldon said. After Penny looked at him like he was a creepy stalker he clarified: "I'm friends with Howard. He once had military satellites spy on the American Next Top Model house without them knowing."

"Ew," Penny said and wrinkled her nose.

"So I suggest not taking this lightly. If you'd like, this evening we can call your cellphone provider and see if we can get a copy of all incoming and outgoing phone calls and copies of all text messages. Then we can present it to the police," Sheldon suggested.

"Sweetie, I don't think it's that bad," Penny said and squeezed his hand to thank him for caring.

"For now," Sheldon said. "But if you go missing and I knew of this Max character and didn't do anything about it. . ." he trailed off not knowing what to say.

"You want to be Superman, I get it," Penny laughed.

Sheldon twitched a little and then shook his head.

"I'll think about it, Sheldon. I'll see you after school for your Tuesday night burger," she said and stood up.

"See you later, Penny," Sheldon said and turned off the TV. He went to his room to get ready for work as Penny gathered her things and went to school.

She was smiling the whole way and she didn't know why.

During her first class her phone buzzed in her bag. Everyone glanced at her and she quickly checked it. " _You know, I could talk to this Max man and convince him to leave you alone._ " Sheldon. She stifled a giggle and waited until after class to text him back.

" _How is that sheldon? Scare him away with ur knowledge of comic books & physics?_" She responded.

" _No, I know enough about you, including your flaws, to scare away any man. Besides Leonard, obviously._ " he replied.

" _thx sheldon. Ur such a dear (tht was sarcasm, btw)_ " she said.

" _Thank you, Penny. I would have never deciphered that through your horrific grammar._ " he said.

" _I'm skipping the class i hve w/ max. im staying in the library_ " Penny informed him.

" _That's not a wise choice for your education. I suggest you go to class and ignore him_ " Sheldon advised.

" _Nope. Not going. C u later, sweetie :)_ " Penny responded and settled into a comfy chair in the library with a paperback.

It wasn't five minutes after the class she had with Max started when she got a text. " _Where are you? I miss you. Class just isn't the same._ " Penny rolled her eyes.

She opened a new text message and selected Sheldon as the recipient. " _He texted me again. Should i say something? GOD! Y do i get all the creepers?_ "

" _If you feel that's wise. And you are in a community college in California, what do you expect? Shining etiquette and remarkable intelligence?_ " Sheldon responded. She ignored his comment about her school.

So, Penny hit reply to Max's message and typed in " _Max, i dont know what gave u the idea that i was interested in u. But im not, im sry, i have a bf. Id appreciate it if u stopped contacting me._ "

She waited anxiously for him to respond.

" _Silly, Penny. :) I hope to see you soon!_ " Max replied.

" _No! Max! I AM NOT INTERESTED. I AM NOT BEING SILLY, I AM BEING SERIOUS. PLEASE STOP CONTACTING ME OR I'LL HAVE TO GO TO THE COPS!_ " she typed furiously.

Max didn't respond so Penny thought he finally got the hint. Thank God!

Later, after the guys minus Leonard had dinner during Penny's Tuesday night shift at the Cheesecake Factory, Penny met up with Sheldon in his apartment for some studying. It had become a regular routine for Penny to go over her homework with Sheldon. Part of her thought he missed school and wanted to go back, but most of her knew he just liked being sought after for information. He liked when people asked him questions that he knew the answer to and learned from what he said.

Penny would save her algebra homework for last and he would look over her notes and the problems. Then she would do five equations while he typed away at his computer or watched her as she worked, and when she was finished she'd hand her work over to him and he would go over it and correct it. They had this system that worked great. Like the time they made Penny Blossoms, except there was no singing. Then Leonard would wake up and eat "breakfast" while they worked.

That night, Leonard had woken up and gone before it happened. Penny and Sheldon were silently (because if they spoke, they would argue and it would break the peace) working when there was a noise outside the apartment. They both glanced at the door but continued to work. They weren't the only inhabitants of that floor of the apartment so neither thought anything of it.

Then there was music. It was easily recognizable as the Beatles but they listened closer to hear the lyrics being sung not only in the music but also by a man in the hallway. His voice was terrible but he was singing it with passion. Penny recognized the song as "I'll Get You;" one of the creepiest love songs ever. She shivered.

 _Imagine, I'm in love with you,  
It's easy 'cos I know,  
I've imagined, I'm in love with you,  
Many, many, many times before.  
It's not like me to pretend,  
But I'll get you in the end,  
Yes I will, I'll get you in the end  
I think about you night and day,  
I need you and it's true.  
When I think about you, I can say,  
I'm never, never, never, never blue.  
So I'm telling you, my friend,  
That I'll get you, I'll get you in the end,  
Yes I will, I'll get you in the end  
When, there's gonna be a time,  
Well I'm gonna change your mind.  
So you might as well resign yourself to me_

The words were being bellowed just outside the door and Penny realized what was going on. She looked at Sheldon pleadingly.

"You think that's Max?" he asked.

"Um, yeah," Penny said, standing up and going into the hallway leading to the bathroom and the guys' bedrooms. "Tell him I'm not home because. . . I don't live there anymore."

Penny hid in the hallway, out of view of the door and Sheldon just looked at her and complained. "Penny, why do I-"

"Remember? Superman! You can be Superman!" Penny scrambled.

He stopped and thought about it and just as Max was finishing his song, Sheldon made up his mind. He nodded seriously to Penny and strode to the door. He opened it and kept it open and Penny could hear everything.

"Excuse me, but might I ask what you are doing?" she heard Sheldon ask.

"I'm singing to my love, Penny," Max replied.

"That's too bad because not only is Penny currently in an established romantic relationship but she also doesn't live there anymore," Sheldon said, his lie sounded flawless. She hoped he wasn't twitching.

"Yes, she does. I looked it up," Max said, his confidence faltering. Penny wasn't even in the phone book. Creeper.

"No, she's. . . now living in a rehabilitation home. She moved out two days ago. I say moved out but I mean, the cops took her away after a drug bust," Sheldon said passively. Penny smirked.

"But she seemed fine in school," Max defended.

"Yeah, she's fine once she has plenty of opiates in her veins. But define 'fine,'" Sheldon rambled.

"She's nice to me and she loves me," Max said, his voice sounding whiny.

"Well, if being nice is Penny's way of saying she loves someone then she must be head over heals for me," Sheldon said sarcastically. Penny's eyes watered from biting her lip to keep her laughter contained. She could just picture Sheldon standing in the hallway with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing his tensed forearm muscles as he crossed his arms over his chest and wearing an intensely annoyed expression as he looked down at Max.

"Wait, how do you know where Penny is?" Max asked. "Are you her boyfriend?"

"No, she's my best friend," he said and Penny's laughter ceased instantly.

 _What?_

"Where is she, man? I need to see her. I _need_ to!" Max begged.

"No, you don't. And I recommend you find someone to talk to. Obsessions like these can lead to unhealthy behaviors. . . like this. Max, what you're doing is stalking and can be punished in court. And don't make Penny take you to court. She doesn't do well under pressure," Sheldon said.

"Penny loves me," Max whimpered. Penny hardly heard it.

"No, she doesn't. Sorry, Max, but as they say: 'get over it,'" Sheldon said in a remarkably bitchy tone.

There was silence before she heard Max give a defeated "Bye" before Sheldon came back in and shut and locked the door behind him.

"He's gone. But I recommend informing the professor that you both share of Max's behavior and getting another lock or two," Sheldon said casually as he sat down on the couch and picked up Penny's homework.

She sat down next to him, beaming. "Thanks, Sheldon. I really appreciate it."

"Oh, don't thank me, I didn't do it for you. I did it so I didn't have to hear horrible music being played outside my apartment at ten pm every night," he said, not looking at her.

"Sure, sweetie," she said knowing full well he was being modest. "And the Beatles are great, how could you say that?"

"Penny, you were just practically assaulted with their music," he said. "Besides, I don't like their rhythms or lyric structure. Its all very repetitive."

"Not liking the Beatles is very un-American of you," Penny laughed.

"Penny!" Sheldon said and looked at her like she had grown an extra head.

"What?"

"The Beatles are British," he informed her.

"I knew that," Penny defended.

He just looked at her and shook his head before going back to her homework. "Look at this one again." He pointed to an equation and she took the paper but set it on the table in front of her.

"But really, Sheldon, thanks," Penny said warmly and hugged him. He tensed up, just as she expected, and patted her back awkwardly. "You can be a great guy when you want to. And a great friend. Do you really consider me your best friend?"

She pulled away from him but still had her hands on his forearms. He looked away, his brain whirling, trying to figure out a way to run from this situation.

"If it helps, I definitely consider you one of mine," she said sweetly.

He looked at her now, still thoughtful. She smiled and cocked her head to the side, encouraging him to speak up.

"I find you are- a worthy opponent when it comes to a battle of wits," he admitted.

"Oh, spit it out, sweetie," Penny giggled.

"You are-" he swallowed nervously "my best friend."


	5. The Dreamworld Revelation

_They were outside her apartment door. They'd just finished a trip to the comic book store and he was about to say goodbye. But something changed and the words he'd just uttered were forgotten, maybe never even said. Whatever, because words couldn't compare. Suddenly her back was pressed against her apartment door and his lips were on hers. Surprisingly experienced considering she figured he still practiced on the back of his hand. Holy crap on a cracker, she was being kissed by Sheldon Cooper. She doubted reality for a second and the edges of her vision blurred and she felt sluggish. So, she stopped and all was right. All was very right, actually._

His lips and tongue were insistent and she obliged. Her door was opened but she didn't even get out her key. That didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was leading her to her bedroom. Once there, coherent thought was lost.

Lips. Tongues. Skin. Blankets. Sheets. Clothes. Heat. Nails. Hands. Teeth. Sweat. Gasps. Names. Intensity.

Awake.

"Oh, shit!"

 **It was Comic Con and he was wearing his usual Spock costume. He wondered where Leonard, Howard, and Raj were and turned around. What was she doing here? She smiled sweetly up at him and he noticed she was dressed as Wonder Woman. He insisted she hurry and follow him or they'd lose the others. Everyone around him was faceless, or their faces didn't matter, he wasn't sure. But he felt her hand in his as they weaved through the miles of people. His hand was hot in hers and he was confused. Were they lost? Where were the others? Was he here with just Penny? He couldn't remember. He needed to sit down, maybe have a drink of water. But there was a tug on his hand and he followed. She led them into an empty curtained area that he hadn't noticed before.**

He opened his mouth to ask why they were in this dark, enclosed area, when she kissed him. He wanted to push her away, but he didn't and he didn't know why. This was an interesting development. Before he could even finish that thought his shirt was being pulled over his head, pulling off a false ear point in the process. He groaned in complaint, thinking that he'd now have to take a detour to the bathroom to replace it and that would take about ten minutes away from- oh my. It was then that he realized what was happening. Yes, Penny was undressing him and kissing him, but she was doing it because she wanted coitus. This revelation sent a shiver through him and he gave in. Why not? An experience is an experiment. And what she was doing with her hands at that moment was _definitely_ an experience.

His eyes opened and he sat up quickly.

"Danger! Danger!"

Penny looked next to her and saw Leonard just settling into bed after a night of work and she sat up. It was nine am and she was never awake this early on a Saturday. But the thought of remaining in Leonard's bed, made her feel guilty.

"Are you okay, Penny?" Leonard asked.

"What? Why?" she asked, nervously.

"You woke up and said 'oh, shit,'" he explained.

"Bad dream," she said and kissed him on the forehead. "Sleep well."

He said "Goodnight" and was almost instantly asleep. She had slept in his bed, hoping that when he came home, he'd wake her up and they could have sex. They hadn't had sex in two weeks and three days. Not that she was counting, though.

She figured her lack of sex was what caused her dream. It had to be. She didn't feel that way about Sheldon. No way! Not a chance! He was just someone close to her that her brain chose to star in her dream. That's it. It had to be.

She got out of bed and grabbed her pink robe before heading to the kitchen for coffee. She opened the door and heard noise coming from the kitchen. It was the sound of eggs sizzling in a pan. She took a deep breath through her nose and smelled the eggs, pancakes, and sweet syrup. She knew it was Sheldon cooking it and thought about just going to her apartment for breakfast. But she was determined to keep things normal. It was only a dream! She'd surely forget it by the time they finished breakfast.

"Good morning, Dr. Cooper," she said brightly as she entered the kitchen.

He jumped and turned to her. His eyes were wide with nerves and what looked like fear.

"What's up?" she asked him, noticing his strange behavior.

"N-nothing, Penny. You startled me. And might I remind you, I am currently using a hot stove and pan. Startling me while I am holding a hot pan is not wise," he scolded, turning back to his cooking.

"Right, sorry, Sheldon," she said and grabbed some coffee. "Did you make enough for me?"

"I was anticipating your presence at breakfast, yes," he said and a slight blush rose to her cheeks. She reminded herself to forget about the dream.

Penny sat on the couch and drank her coffee while watching the Saturday morning cartoons. Sheldon came and sat next to her after he'd finished cooking and handed her her plate. They ate in silence; both were thankful for the TV.

When they were finished, Penny took their plates to the sink and washed them.

"Do you have any homework?" Sheldon asked, his eyes avoiding her. Every time he looked at her, his eyes went to her lips, her chest, places where if she saw him looking he'd be hog tied and castrated junior rodeo style in a record time of three minutes.

Yes, tons. "No," she said as she dried her hands off. "I finished everything in class."

"Good," Sheldon said and settled at his laptop and began typing away.

Penny stood awkwardly in the kitchen for a minute before she decided to leave. "Alright, Sheldon, I'm off to run some errands," she said. He nodded to say he heard her and she left quickly.

Both spent the entire day away from each other and frankly, avoiding each other. But they were thinking about their dreams without end, no matter how hard they tried. When Howard and Raj arrived for dinner and vintage video game night she was obligated to at least make an appearance. She stood awkwardly next to the couch with her arms crossed. Sheldon stood in the kitchen, drinking a class of Coke, not looking at Penny.

Howard and Raj looked from Penny to Sheldon and then to each other to exchange glances of wonder. "What's going on between you two?" Howard asked. "Are you fighting?"

"No," Penny and Sheldon responded at the same time.

"Is one of you mad at the other for some reason and just not saying anything?" Howard pressed.

"No," Penny and Sheldon responded again.

"Then what's wrong?" Howard asked, annoyed now.

"Nothing. You know what? I think I'm going to go out with some of my girl friends tonight. I'll see you guys later," Penny said before making a quick exit.

Sheldon's face fell. Even though it was currently awkward to be around her, he didn't want her to leave.

Howard turned to Sheldon, who was now making his way to his seat on the couch. "Are Penny and Leonard fighting?"

"Not that I am aware of," Sheldon replied as he began to eat his dinner.

"Then what's with the awkwardness and the silence?" Raj asked.

Sheldon gave what looked like a shrug and kept silent.

Howard excused himself and got up to go to Penny's apartment to get to the bottom of this. When someone of their group was fighting with Sheldon, it made them all uncomfortable and the situation never ended well. He wanted to solve this before it got out of control. Panties on the telephone wires out of control.

He knocked and Penny answered. "Yes, Howard?"

"Penny, I hate when one of our friends fight with Sheldon. It never ends well and I like you. I don't want you permanently banished," he said.

Penny's face softened. "Aw, Howard, that's so sweet. But me and Sheldon aren't fighting."

"You aren't? Then why are you acting strangely around him?" Howard asked.

Penny sighed and pulled Howard into her apartment. He looked thrilled, as if he thought she were seducing him. She shut her door and turned to him. "I-" she started and stopped. She didn't even know how to explain this insanity. She sat on her couch and Howard sat next to her. She tried again: "I had a dream last night. It was um, it was about me and Sheldon."

"Stop right there! I know exactly what you're saying!" he was laughing.

"Howard, stop laughing at me!" Penny exclaimed, offended.

"Sorry," he said and sobered. "It's just that a sex dream with Sheldon is hilarious."

"Until you have one," she muttered.

"Been there," he said.

"What?"

"Never mind," he told her. "So continue with your story."

"I had a dream, a sexual dream, about Sheldon. And I can't stop thinking about it. I know its probably just because I haven't had sex in forever, and he's just a person close to me, but still. Its weird," Penny explained.

"Why couldn't your brain choose me?" he whined.

She gave him a Look.

"Why can't you stop thinking about it?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe because he's acting weird, too," Penny said. "It's like he knows what I dreamed about."

"That's not possible," Howard said.

"Its Sheldon."

"Valid point. But I still think that's impossible," Howard said.

She smiled.

"Now, come back and have some dinner," he said.

"No, I already called some friends. I should be getting ready to go," she said and stood up.

"If you girls need a guy to come along-"

"No, Howard."

"Okay, well, you know where to find me. I'm programmed in your phone as 'Sexy Beast,' in case you need to contact me," he said.

Penny opened the door and gestured for him to leave. He rolled his eyes and left.

When Howard returned to his seat in Sheldon's apartment, he couldn't hold in the information he'd learned. Penny never asked him not to tell, so he wasn't breaking his word.

"So what's with Penny?" Raj asked.

"She had a sex dream about Sheldon and is embarrassed because she can't stop thinking about it," Howard said excitedly.

Sheldon stopped eating to stare blankly at him. He was surprised and a little bit happy that Penny had also had a dream about him, but he suppressed it.

"No way!" Raj exclaimed.

"Way," Howard replied.

"Sheldon! Penny wants you!" Raj said.

"Hardly. You see, dreams are not always accurate descriptions of what one's subconscious wants. In this case, the sexual nature of Penny and I's relationship does not mean she wants our friendship to be compromised by coitus. It most likely represents the fact that we have been spending a lot of time together working on her school work. Our friendship has grown since we've been spending more time together, and this may be her strange subconscious' way of showing that," Sheldon said casually. "Besides, I had a dream of a sexual nature about Penny last night as well. But I surely don't want to have sex with her."

Howard and Raj were silent and unmoving.

"What?" Sheldon asked, confused by their silence.

"Nothing," Howard said and shook his head.

He and Raj exchanged glances that said "This is about to get real messy, real quick."


	6. The Cheesecake Altercation

"Hey, Sheldon, what are you up to?" Penny asked in a sweet tone.

"Why? What do you want?" Sheldon asked, knowing all too well that when she used that tone it only meant she needed a favor. He didn't even look up from his laptop as he said this, he just continued to type away.

"I have a Biology test tomorrow and I need some help studying," Penny explained and stood next to him.

"Alright, bring your book and notes over and we'll get started," he said and closed his laptop and turned to her.

"You see, the thing is," she began nervously "I have to work the dinner shift."

"That proves to be a problem. Now you must decide which is more important. Good luck with that," he said sharply and went back to typing away on his laptop.

"No, Sheldon, I'm not choosing between one or the other," she said. He looked up at her, confused. "I was wondering if you'd come to work with me and help me study."

He continued to look confusedly at her. Not as if he didn't understand the concept she was proposing, but as if he wasn't sure if she was being serious or if she had suddenly lost her sub par brain.

"So... will you?" She asked.

"Oh, you were being serious?" he seemed startled.

"Yeah. I'll pay for your dinner and drinks and dessert and anything you want from the comic book store. But we have to leave in the next ten minutes," Penny said in a pleading voice.

He pondered this a few moments. "Penny, it's not the night we eat-"

"Sheldon, please?" she clasped her hands in front of her and gave him big doe eyes.

He rolled his eyes and got up from his desk. "Fine, but you did say anything from the comic book store, right?"

"Okay, Sheldon, I'm just going to go clock in and find out which tables are mine and I'll have you seated at one. And you'll just have to occupy it until my shift is over. I'll come over as often as I can and you can quiz me," Penny explained as they walked up to the building from the parking lot.

"Understood," Sheldon said, still somewhat grumpy that he was being bribed to eat a cheeseburger when it wasn't cheeseburger night.

She came back a few minutes later and sat him at his usual table with a menu. "Anything you want, Sheldon." She told him before running to take the order of her first table.

He decided on his usual without even looking at the menu and started to make flashcards for Penny's test. He made noises of disapproval every so often when he saw a definition he knew in kindergarten on this college level test.

Penny came back to his table and took his order and he asked her: "What is biology?"

"The class I have to- oh, the study of all living organisms," she said and handed him his Coke.

"Correct. What is the basic unit of life?" he asked, in a bored tone. This was hardly a stimulating study session. And the atmosphere was all wrong.

"A cell," she said immediately. She looked proud of herself.

"Time for one more?" he asked ans sipped his Coke.

She looked at her tables quickly. "One more, gimme one more," she said and adopted a competitive stance. It was as if he were about to release a wild, raving hog into the ring and she were to catch it record time.

He took notice of her attitude then shook his head and continued. "What is evolution?"

"When living things change something about themselves to adapt to their surroundings and then pass it on to their children. And if a living thing doesn't change to accommodate its surroundings it'll die. So survival of the fittest. Darwin and stuff," Penny said.

Sheldon paused as all of this filtered through the "What the frak did Penny just say?" translators in is brain. "I suppose that that is enough for this low of a level class. You only need the basics, and. . . well, that was quite basic."

"Okay, I'll be right back," she said and hurried off to pick up an order.

The evening continued this way; Sheldon making flashcards while eating his dinner and sipping his drink, and Penny rushing over at every moment she got to be quizzed. When Penny's break came up, they both went outside and sat on the curb eating a slice of chocolate cheesecake and talking biology.

"Correct, Penny," Sheldon said, pride was evident in his voice. "I've begun to give you complicated questions and you've done quite well."

"Thanks, Sheldon," Penny said with a grin and bumped his shoulder with hers.

Her phone vibrated in her apron and she fished it out from under her tips. "It's Leonard," she said and answered. "Hey!"

Sheldon could hear Leonard as he spoke. "Hey, Penny. What are you up to?"

"I'm at work," she said, feeling somewhat glad to have an excuse to not see him. Then she felt terrible.

"Wanna tell your boss that you're sick and come see me? I got out of work early," Leonard suggested, a smile in his voice.

 _Sex. Yes, please. Sex with Leonard. . ._ "Actually, I don't think I can, Leonard. We're pretty busy and I need to study for a bio test tomorrow. Besides, I can't just leave work anytime I want to," she responded and kicked at a few pebbles near her.

"But Penny, this may be the only time I get to see you for awhile," he complained.

"I know, Leonard. But work and school are really important to me, right now. We should make plans to do something this weekend," she said.

"Work and school, Penny? Really? What has gotten into you? I don't understand how that's more important than your boyfriend. I hardly ever get to see you anymore and I miss you!" he was whining now.

"You miss _me_ , or my company in your bed?" Penny snapped without thinking.

He hesitated. "Both! Come on, Penny. Just tell your boss you're sick."

"No! I'm not going to risk losing my job for one evening with you. Sorry, but I'm not!" she yelled.

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably next to her. She patted his hand, remembering how fights affected him. She also gave him a kind look to let him know she was in no way upset with him.

"When is this phase going to pass, Penny? How long are you going to keep this up?" Leonard yelled back.

She caught a cry of indignation in her throat and tears pricked her eyes. How could he be saying this? School was important to her. Her future may even be riding on it and she didn't want to screw it up. And she sure as hell wasn't going to let some needy nerd ruin that for her. She calmed herself before saying in a quiet voice "Leonard, you're tired and you need sleep. You don't mean what you're saying. Get some sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow." She hung up.

"You know, Leonard is my friend and roommate, but he sure is a bad boyfriend," Sheldon said honestly.

She looked at him with tears of hurt in her eyes.

He continued. "He doesn't see you as a woman, as Penny. He sees you, and treats you, as a 'hot chick he gets to see naked.'"

Penny snorted a small laugh mostly at the fact that the words "hot chick" just came out of Sheldon's mouth.

"What do you mean?" she asked, curious to see this genius' view on her relationship.

"I mean he never does anything nice for you. You hardly ever go on dates. And he never asks your opinion on anything. He doesn't see you as an intelligent human being," Sheldon explained.

"And you _do_ see me as an intelligent human being?" Penny asked with a laugh.

"Well, not in the same sense as I am, but you are far from _un_ intelligent," Sheldon said with a shrug.

She smiled. "Thanks, Sheldon."

"You're welcome, Penny."

She leaned her head on his shoulder as warm, salty tears ran down her cheeks. He tensed up, his hands resting on his legs. She thought for a few moments on the fact that she was not all that upset that Leonard didn't care for her other than for sex. She was just upset about- she didn't really know. All she knew was that she was offended. And the realization that she didn't care about him in a romantic way anymore is what made her sad. She moved closer to Sheldon and cried on his shoulder.

"Penny, I'm sure you're aware, but I don't know what to do to comfort you. I've never had a woman cry on my shoulder," he said in a voice that conveyed in confusion and lack of comfort.

"It's easy," she sniffed. "All you gotta do is let me cry on your shoulder until I'm done, put an arm around me-"

"I don't understand how my arm will comfort you." Sheldon said as Penny pulled an arm to wrap around her middle.

"It's like that monkey in that experiment that hugged the terry cloth mom and not the one with the bottle. Or Leonard's hugging machine. Which I just realized is scary similar," Penny said with a giggle. Sheldon gave a short, breathy laugh. "Now, you can say nice things to me while I cry."

"What?" He asked.

"You say nice things to me. Things that will make me happy," she explained, nestling her head on his shoulder again.

"Alright," he said and there was a few moment pause. "Your hair smells nice."

"Keep going."

"You're not going to fail your biology exam."

"I do like that one."

"Leonard is an idiot," Sheldon said confidently.

"Agreed," she sighed.

"Besides, he could always build another hugging machine."

"But that would be sad," Penny said.

"I thought the idea of this game was to make you feel better by making you look more alluring than Leonard," he said confusedly.

"Well, yeah, but a hugging machine is just sad, not belittling," she said.

"Hm," Sheldon said, taking note. "Well, while Leonard was building a hugging machine, I built a death-ray. And I'm sure if I found my old designs and formulas, I could fix it and make it a _working_ death-ray. You could be the first person besides me to use it. Possibly on Leonard. But then you'd have to pay his rent."

Penny giggled. "Let me know when you finish it."

The door to the restaurant opened. "Penny, your break is over," said one of her coworkers.

"Thanks," Penny said. She took her head off of Sheldon's shoulder and he removed his arm from around her middle. She wiped her eyes and they stood up.

"I'll go get some more flashcards ready," Sheldon said as they headed back into the building.

"Thanks, Sheldon. You're a really great friend," Penny said before giving him a swift kiss on the cheek and heading back to work.

The rest of the evening went well. Penny's attitude was lifted some after Sheldon attempted to comfort her, and she finished her shift without feeling as if she were going to cry again. She answered most of the study questions Sheldon gave her correctly. She was feeling good about her test tomorrow.

On the way home, Penny asked Sheldon "Want to come to my place to study some more and then maybe watch some TV?"

"Sure. I've been thinking up some more questions. They're doozies," he said.

Upon reaching Penny's apartment, they were able to hear music playing in Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. They exchanged glances of confusion and went to listed at the door. Leonard was listening to sad, emo music. Sheldon rolled his eyes "Now I'm definitely going to your apartment to help you study some more. I can't stand when he does this. But if I wake up to find a cat in our apartment, I'm blaming you."

Penny laughed as they entered her apartment. She shut the door behind them and then got them both Cokes from the fridge as Sheldon opened her notes and got out the flashcards. They studied for two hours before they were confident that Penny was going to do well on her test.

"I don't see why you dropped out of school in the first place," Sheldon told her as they put away her school stuff.

"Well, I moved here to start acting," Penny explained.

"But you are able to comprehend most of the material we have studied. I'm sure you've always been a good student. Why didn't you pursue an academic career?" Sheldon asked.

Penny was flattered, but his question brought up some dirt. She sighed and brought their empty glasses to her sink. He waited patiently for her answer. "Back home on the farm, Dad is the boss. Yeah, it seems like Mom is the boss, but it really is him. He works on the farm all day and that's what he's been doing since the age of fifteen. He dropped out of high school and doesn't really put a value on education. To him your value comes from how many blisters are on your fingers. It offends him and probably scares him when anyone is smarter than him. It's like, how would he be able to run this family and farm if he isn't the smartest one? So I stopped trying in school and started working on the farm. Until I couldn't take it anymore and I came here. I've shut my brain off so long ago, I wasn't sure if I could turn it back on."

"You were smart?" Sheldon asked, shock evident on his face.

Penny laughed. "Not like you smart, or even Howard smart. But I did well in school and I liked it. I was mostly and A student with a B here and there."

"That's horrible," Sheldon gasped. "You pretended to be below average!"

"Um, thanks, Sheldon," she said sarcastically.

"That's worse than a hugging machine!" He exclaimed.

Penny laughed again. "To you!"

She turned on the TV and they decided on a rerun of "Scrubs." But Penny's not paying attention. She's thinking about how Leonard is like her dad in the way he discourages her education to please him. Leonard's mom was right. Penny shuddered. But Sheldon. Sheldon was almost physically unable to lie and he was always blunt. Tonight he had been completely unintentionally nice and it made her smile. She moved close to him on the couch so that their sides were touching.

"Why are you close to me?" he asked uncomfortably.

"Because," she said.

"That's not a response," he observed. She pulled his arm around her shoulders and settled against him with her head on his shoulder again. "Do you need comforting again?"

"Sort of," she replied and pulled a blanket off the back of her couch and placed over their laps.

"Do I need to say nice things again?" he asked.

"No," she said cuddling up next to him. "But you can relax. You're all tensed up like I'm touching you inappropriately or something."

"You're in my personal space," he stated.

"So what? I'm not violating you," she retorted.

"You're violating my personal space, Penny," he replied.

"Oh, be quiet and watch the TV," she said, hiding the grin on her face under the blanket.

He sighed and slowly began to relax. It took him some time, but eventually he wasn't tensed up and hyper-alert.

When she noticed this, she looked up at him and smiled. "See? Not entirely bad."

"I guess," he replied.

She looked at him for a few seconds more before she said "Sheldon, thanks for being a great friend."

"You're welcome, I guess," he replied.

"No, really. You've been the best friend ever tonight. In your own way, of course," she insisted.

"I wasn't trying to be," he said and thought back to all his previous actions and words that night.

"I know, and that's what makes you such a good friend. You don't even try," she explained.

He made a noise of interest. A little "Hm" accompanied by a raise of his eyebrows. "I would have never though that that's how one makes friends. I'll have to add that to my algorithm."

Penny laughed at his typical Sheldon statement and rested her head back on his shoulder. They watched reruns on TV until they both became drowsy. When they stood up they both gave small shivers from the cold air of the apartment. Penny missed the presence of a warm Sheldon and he looked back at the blanket on the couch suggesting that he missed her body heat as well. Both said their goodbyes still warm and drowsy. Sheldon went back to his apartment to be greeted by a depressive, jealous, and heartbroken roommate, and Penny shuffled her way over to her bedroom. Stopping only to set her alarm before happily falling into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some unabashed Leonard-hate going on in this story. I apologize if this upsets anyone.  
> Leonard in season 3 reminded me of an ex and... yeah.   
> :)


	7. The Punnett Square Catalyst

Penny was laughing with Howard, Raj, and Sheldon over her biology homework. The unit they were currently working on was Punnett Squares. Her homework required her to flip a coin to decide dominant and recessive alleles for genetic traits. She had already mashed her "genetics" with Brad Pitt's and the result was terrifying. So she had headed next door, her notebook in hand, and asked the guys to have babies with her. The gaping mouths and the strangled squeal from Raj told her that the answer was "yes, please."

Apparently, Penny and Howard's baby boy would have brown and curly hair, a big nose, green eyes, a small physique, the inability to beatbox, mediocre intelligence, and be about five feet tall. Penny and Sheldon would have a girl who was freakishly tall, curvy, had brown eyes, blonde hair, superior intelligence, a love for comic books, and no sense of humor. Raj and Penny's boy would have Raj's skin tone, her intelligence, her acting skills, his love for Bollywood, blonde hair and green eyes, be tall, fat, and unable to speak to the opposite sex. Sure most of the "traits" weren't hereditary, but they were just playing at this point. Penny understood the concept of Punnett Squares and genetics enough to just play around.

They were picturing the horrific portrait of Leonard and Penny's "child" (blonde hair, brown eyes, short, super small nose, high pitched voice, strong jaw, caterpillar eyebrows, huge ears, inability to eat dairy or strawberries. . .) when Leonard himself came in. He was no longer working nights, but they still hardly ever saw each other. Penny had tears in her eyes from laughing. And Sheldon was laughing at the thought that he and Penny would have more aesthetically pleasing offspring than Penny and any of the other guys. Even if it _was_ all hypothetical and fun.

"What's so funny?" Leonard asked, a little self-consciously.

"We're making babies!" Penny said through laughs.

"What?" Leonard gasped.

"We're using Punnett Squares and hypothetical genetics to determine what our children with Penny will look like," Sheldon explained, ashamed by his intense joy at the look of jealousy on Leonard's face.

"Oh, fun," Leonard lied unconvincingly, stretching the word "fun."

"You and Penny will have one fracked up kid!" Howard added.

Leonard, who was setting his bag down next to his laptop, spun around. "What?"

Penny tensed up, Sheldon got up to go to the kitchen, Raj whispered to Howard who ignored him.

"Yeah, the best looking kid is Sheldon and Penny's," Howard laughed.

"Oh, right. Great. Now even Howard and Raj know that you prefer to spend time making fake babies with Sheldon than do anything with me," Leonard snapped.

"That's not true!" Penny screeched and stood up. "That's not true and you know it, Leonard! Sheldon helps me with my schoolwork because you _refuse_ to! Because Leonard FREAKING Hofstader can't lose two hours of his precious time to help his girlfriend with her homework! Will he spend two hours having sex with her? SURE! But help her out with schoolwork? FREAKING OF COURSE NOT! So I had _Sheldon_ help me!"

Sheldon slammed the refrigerator door shut. Howard and Raj were frozen in their seats on the couch. Howard wasn't sure if he should be apologizing for bringing up such a hot topic or not. No one blamed him though, how was he to know that there was trouble? His phone vibrated in his pocket-an escape!- but he felt obligated to stay and help pick up the pieces after the explosion.

"That's because your going to school is probably just a phase," Leonard said with an eye roll. "And I don't see why you need help, you have classmates."

Penny had no words. Just a fist she wanted to put through his skull. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides.

"Besides, I have work to do. I can't just _give up_ that time to help you do basic algebra and Punnett Squares," Leonard scoffed as if it were matter-of-fact.

Even Sheldon saw this error. He sipped nervously on his drink instead of running away. He didn't want Leonard to win this one and he didn't know why.

Penny gave an enraged scream of exasperation and disbelief. "I can't _believe_ you! How- how can you even SAY that? How can you be so unsupportive and discouraging?" Tears threatened to spill from her eyes and she tried to blink them away. "You know, this is just the psychic thing all over again. You can't stand the fact that I'm not as smart as you, not the same as you, not as successful. But get OVER it!"

"I'm not unsupportive or discouraging! I'm realistic," Leonard shouted. When Penny didn't say anything, he explained. "College just isn't for you. I get that. You're not meant for it- you're meant to work as a waitress while you audition for acting roles. Not everyone's smart enough for college. Its just the way it works."

"JERK! OH MY GOD! I can't even- you're- UGH! You're no better than the jocks I've dated. They treated me just like this- some _stupid_ blonde, some prize, some fracking RAG DOLL. But I'm not a rag doll, Leonard. GOD, I'm just going to start dating jocks again. At least they were good in bed!" Penny shouted back, the tears she fought back were now falling freely. She didn't bother wiping them away. If Leonard ran away because her crying face was unattractive she didn't give a shit, but the other guys didn't care that her nose was red and running and her makeup was smeared and dripping.

"Okay, I think that's enough hollering for one night," Sheldon spoke up. He knew enough about fights between couples that as soon as the inadequacies of coitus has been brought up, someone was going to start throwing dishes.

Penny looked at Sheldon angrily for a moment before her expression turned apologetic. "Sorry, Sheldon." She remembered how much he hates fighting. She turned back to Leonard, glared, and stomped from the apartment, slamming both doors.

Everyone was silent. And it rang in their ears. No one looked at each other. It felt wrong. Sheldon went to his room keeping his mouth shut for once, Raj left, and Howard and Leonard were left in the living room.

"Tell me this isn't my fault," Leonard finally spoke.

"Sorry, but it kind of is," Howard admitted. "But its not too late to fix it. You can work your way back in. Believe me when I say that begging her to forgive you and bribing with sex doesn't work."

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked, offended his friend wasn't on his side.

"I mean, you did screw up. Penny is a person and not just some chick you get to sleep with. Bernadette let me know this," Howard said bashfully. "You gotta treat a woman the same as you want to be treated."

Leonard knew this, but Penny _wasn't_ him and wasn't like him. He wasn't going to treat Penny like he wanted to be treated- like a successful and respectable physicist. She probably couldn't even _spell_ physicist. Treating her equally would suggest that they were equals. Which they weren't, Leonard reasoned.

Later that evening, Sheldon went into the kitchen to get himself a snack when he noticed Penny's biology notebook still on the coffee table. He hesitated before picking it up and walking over to her apartment.

 _Knock knock knock._

"Penny."

The door opened. Penny's face was drawn into a frown and was red and puffy from crying. She was wearing her bathrobe over her comfiest and most conservative pajamas. He looked at the door, then at Penny, then at the door. She made a face of annoyance before shutting the door again.

 _Knock knock knock._

"Penny."

 _Knock knock knock._

"Penny."

"Hmm, I wonder who this could be," Penny said loudly through the door.

"Its Sheldon Cooper," he called.

The door opened and Penny was smiling. "What do you need, Sweetie?"

He held out her notebook. "You left this in our apartment. I figured you would need it."

"Oh, thanks! Yeah, I need it for tomorrow," she said and took the notebook.

They both stood there for a second in silence before Penny offered "Want to come in for some tea?"

"Herbal, please," Sheldon accepted and stepped into her apartment. She kept his favorite tea stocked in her cupboards at all times. But did she have Pop-Tarts? No. He looked around at the mess and started to straighten up as she heated up some water.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry about earlier. I know you don't like fighting," Penny said and handed him his mug of tea. He had a specific mug now that he came over to help with homework. It was a slate blue with a silver damask print. Sure it was girly, but he chose it out of all her pink and flowery ones because it had no pattern on the inside and he would be able to tell if it was clean or not.

"No need to apologize, Penny. He needed to be, as you say, owned," Sheldon said and blew into the mug to cool the tea.

"And I owned him pretty damn good," Penny said with a small, proud smile.

"Junior Rodeo style." Sheldon smirked.

Penny actually laughed at this. "Sheldon, I hope we can still be friends."

Sheldon looked shocked and he set down his tea. "Why wouldn't we continue our arrangement? You didn't go against anything in our friendship contract, did you?"

"I don't know, Sheldon. I didn't actually read it." Penny shrugged.

"Didn't actually read- Penny!" Sheldon scolded. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to read everything you sign? For all you know, that contract could have stated that you were to engage in coitus with Howard Wolowitz every third Tuesday and you went and signed it all willy-nilly!"

Penny snorted a laugh. "I still have it around here somewhere. I'll read through it just to be sure."

Sheldon picked up his drink, his long fingers sliding through the handle loop. He took a sip and leaned back gingerly on Penny's couch.

"Do you think Leonard will be mad if we're still friends?" Penny asked, watching him drink.

"How would I know?" Sheldon said rather than asked.

"I mean, he already thinks I've been choosing you over him," Penny said.

"Haven't you been?" Sheldon asked. He held his mug against his chest, almost as if protecting himself. He looked at her left eyebrow because he felt, right now, that he couldn't look her in the eye.

"I don't know," she groaned. "I guess for schoolwork and studying."

Sheldon took another nervous sip of tea.

"But I haven't choosing you over him for sex."

Sheldon choked on his tea.

"In fact I chose no one over him," Penny sighed.

"And for that my REM cycles are thankful," Sheldon said halfheartedly sarcastic.

She gave him a slight, closed mouthed smile with warm eyes.

"I still claim you as my Halo teammate," Sheldon said seriously.

"Sure thing, Moonpie," Penny replied.

He gave her a Look.

She got up and poured herself her fourth glass of wine of the night. Sheldon eyed her glass disapprovingly as she drank from it, standing at her counter. He moved to sit on a stool before it.

"Funny how you have to drink in order to have sex with Leonard and have to drink to forget sex with Leonard," Sheldon observed.

Penny looked at Sheldon, pondering what he said. She put down her glass with a quiet _clunk_ and sighed. Her lower lip trembled as she fought back a sob of familiar breakup anger and sadness.

"All I wanted was a nice guy. A guy I could take home to Nebraska to meet my parents. All I wanted was a guy who didn't treat me like a rag doll. A guy who would love me, _me_ , despite my non-education and my non-acting career. A guy who would stick up for me, not be the one who puts me down. A guy who isn't always trying to get in my pants. All I wanted, Sheldon- all I wanted was you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't _hate_ Leonard. It's just. Well. IDK it's just fanfic. lol


End file.
